The Why Of It All
Why would someone choose to travel to multiple cities to see the same movie over and over again? Part of it comes from lack of focus in long doses. My mind tends to forget the short term and lots of long term memories that were harmful or hurtful.
The problem is when you block one feeling out you block them all out. It is like a large chunk of your life never happened. Eventually, it comes back. When something makes you feel you get as much of that thing that you can. Elton John. Kevin Smith. Equals in my mind. Elton John $400 Kevin Smith $37-50. Plus he inspires me to keep going. I want to quit much of the time. Why bother? Nobody cares. I care and that is all that matters. This is for me whether 1 person or 10 people read it. Or nobody but myself. I will forever have a diary of an adventure of a lifetime.
Thanks to my mother who passed away on January 15 2017 I am able to travel a little bit and not have to pay much. Monthly trips to Olympia WA added up real quick. I plan on bringing her ashes to every city I am traveling to. This is going to be exhausting and amazing and beautiful and what I can only imagine a Grateful Dead Fan felt in the 1960s and on. Betting on that being an indescribable experience.
Just added a Philadelphia show and am super stoked! We used to live in PA Northern part. Miss it a lot and even if it is for one day I'm so happy to get the chance to go! A few members of the group I filmed with on Reboot will be there and get to finally see them which will be nice.
This tour would be like if I could see Elton at every stop. That moving. If you saw his Farewell tour you 100% understand. If not then you can imagine for sure. It is even more meaningful though because it is someone that is a friend. Not that we go to the movies and hang out friends but will talk to each other and make way for me when he notices me somewhere. That feels pretty good. I never ask for anything nor think I deserve anything more than any other Kevin Smith fan.
Why me? I don't do anything special. When I see his movies or hear him speak, sometimes directly to me, I feel something that I don't feel all the time. Joy. He cares about all his fans but still can make each and every one feel like they are his favorite. Because we all are his favorite. He rewards his fans that create art based on him or his works of art. Whatever it is he knows I am never going to take advantage of his generosity or kindness. He has way too much of both.
Back to the why of it all.
Following Kevin Smith on the Reboot Roadshow across the United States and Canada will be the adventure that it is time I took. I travel solo all the time to Olympia but, that is my hometown and have a place to stay there. Even did the New Orleans alone. I did have other people there to look out for me and that was my security. This time it is similar but, with a lot more stops at places where I don't know anyone personally. I may know people from Twitter and Social Media in general. I am lucky enough to have Chris Davis be at about 1/3 of the shows I'm going to and have talked to people in other cities about meeting up so there are very few shows I will be truly alone at.
The real alone part comes from not having anyone to make sure I'm doing things correctly. My camera work is up to me. Any interviews I get are for me to make interesting. Hopefully, people have a positive response to being filmed and asked about Reboot. Feeling safe is something Mom always made me feel more than anyone. I have finally found people that make me feel like I matter again. People that will help me even if it is out of their way. This is a new experience for me. Something I love getting at 45. Kevin has ALWAYS treated me with such kindness and gratitude and feel like I've gained his trust.
He knows I will not bother him when he doesn't have time to talk and I will always try to keep it short. Which seems impossible for him sometimes. That's when I will interrupt and acknowledge how tired I am and we should all go home or some excuse to end a conversation. If I had something to offer Kevin would be a dream come true. This diary documentary is a thank you to him. To show him how much his fans love his art and wanted this movie. It is to show him how much he is appreciated. I don't think he knows all the time.
It is also a chance for me to show people who I am and what I am about. I am a very kind person and let my feelings get hurt way too easily. I let people make me feel like what I am doing is a waste of time or not wanted. I have gotten much better at ignoring that but, it will always sting a little when someone goes out of their way to say, "nobody cares about you Jami."
I am also doing this for my mother and bringing her ashes along with me since she introduced me to Independent Film at the Olympia Film Society with Clerks. She bought me a membership to OFS every year for my birthday since 1995. I owe it to her, a woman who refused to let me major in art, to show her that art can be anything. I can only hope she would be proud of me. I am doing this for me.
The problem is when you block one feeling out you block them all out. It is like a large chunk of your life never happened. Eventually, it comes back. When something makes you feel you get as much of that thing that you can. Elton John. Kevin Smith. Equals in my mind. Elton John $400 Kevin Smith $37-50. Plus he inspires me to keep going. I want to quit much of the time. Why bother? Nobody cares. I care and that is all that matters. This is for me whether 1 person or 10 people read it. Or nobody but myself. I will forever have a diary of an adventure of a lifetime.
Thanks to my mother who passed away on January 15 2017 I am able to travel a little bit and not have to pay much. Monthly trips to Olympia WA added up real quick. I plan on bringing her ashes to every city I am traveling to. This is going to be exhausting and amazing and beautiful and what I can only imagine a Grateful Dead Fan felt in the 1960s and on. Betting on that being an indescribable experience.
Just added a Philadelphia show and am super stoked! We used to live in PA Northern part. Miss it a lot and even if it is for one day I'm so happy to get the chance to go! A few members of the group I filmed with on Reboot will be there and get to finally see them which will be nice.
This tour would be like if I could see Elton at every stop. That moving. If you saw his Farewell tour you 100% understand. If not then you can imagine for sure. It is even more meaningful though because it is someone that is a friend. Not that we go to the movies and hang out friends but will talk to each other and make way for me when he notices me somewhere. That feels pretty good. I never ask for anything nor think I deserve anything more than any other Kevin Smith fan.
Why me? I don't do anything special. When I see his movies or hear him speak, sometimes directly to me, I feel something that I don't feel all the time. Joy. He cares about all his fans but still can make each and every one feel like they are his favorite. Because we all are his favorite. He rewards his fans that create art based on him or his works of art. Whatever it is he knows I am never going to take advantage of his generosity or kindness. He has way too much of both.
Back to the why of it all.
Following Kevin Smith on the Reboot Roadshow across the United States and Canada will be the adventure that it is time I took. I travel solo all the time to Olympia but, that is my hometown and have a place to stay there. Even did the New Orleans alone. I did have other people there to look out for me and that was my security. This time it is similar but, with a lot more stops at places where I don't know anyone personally. I may know people from Twitter and Social Media in general. I am lucky enough to have Chris Davis be at about 1/3 of the shows I'm going to and have talked to people in other cities about meeting up so there are very few shows I will be truly alone at.
The real alone part comes from not having anyone to make sure I'm doing things correctly. My camera work is up to me. Any interviews I get are for me to make interesting. Hopefully, people have a positive response to being filmed and asked about Reboot. Feeling safe is something Mom always made me feel more than anyone. I have finally found people that make me feel like I matter again. People that will help me even if it is out of their way. This is a new experience for me. Something I love getting at 45. Kevin has ALWAYS treated me with such kindness and gratitude and feel like I've gained his trust.
He knows I will not bother him when he doesn't have time to talk and I will always try to keep it short. Which seems impossible for him sometimes. That's when I will interrupt and acknowledge how tired I am and we should all go home or some excuse to end a conversation. If I had something to offer Kevin would be a dream come true. This diary documentary is a thank you to him. To show him how much his fans love his art and wanted this movie. It is to show him how much he is appreciated. I don't think he knows all the time.
It is also a chance for me to show people who I am and what I am about. I am a very kind person and let my feelings get hurt way too easily. I let people make me feel like what I am doing is a waste of time or not wanted. I have gotten much better at ignoring that but, it will always sting a little when someone goes out of their way to say, "nobody cares about you Jami."
I am also doing this for my mother and bringing her ashes along with me since she introduced me to Independent Film at the Olympia Film Society with Clerks. She bought me a membership to OFS every year for my birthday since 1995. I owe it to her, a woman who refused to let me major in art, to show her that art can be anything. I can only hope she would be proud of me. I am doing this for me.
Love this Jami! You are an angel and a rock star! I can't wait to hear all about your adventures. You deserve to be happy and I'm so proud of you for making that a priority. Sending so many hugs!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you! Taking all the love I can around the country for all of us Kevin Smith fans!
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